How To Get People To Believe In You

It can be difficult to get people to believe in you at times. Perhaps you have abused their trust in the past by committing a crime or having an affair.

Maybe what you are asking them to trust you on is a bit of a dangerous or unlikely proposal. It could be that what you are asking people to trust you on has never been done before, or at least only rarely.

By learning a few strategies, you can discover how to get people to believe in you.

1. Have self belief

If you live your life in integrity, not harming other people and doing good things, you have every right to consider yourself a good, competent person.

Having people believe in you starts with your self belief. You should know for yourself that your ideas and actions are positive and then you are in a good frame of mind to convey that feeling to other people.

2. Do as you say you will

If you want people to believe in you, than you must be consistent and trustworthy. If you are the kind of person that sees a project through once you have started and have a proven track record, you are more likely to encourage other people to believe in you. Cancelling dates, dropping out of arrangements etc. all damage the trust that you want people to build up in you.

3. Tell the truth

Sometimes the truth hurts and at times you might need to sugar coat the pill a little, but you must always be honest if you want people to believe in you. That lets them know that they can trust you, because they know you will tell them bad news as well as good news. That is important if people are to believe in you.

4. Be clear, never vague

There are lots of indefinite areas in life, but sometimes, it is tempting to blur reality even a little more. This burring can be sensed by other people and then little doubts about you creep in because they are not quite sure what you're not telling them.

So, for example, if you are asked something like "How did it go at the doctor's?", don't be tempted to simply say, "Oh fine, he said not to worry", be more truthful and say "It was OK but I haven't got any answers yet; we've got to wait for the test results."

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You may feel you are sparing loved ones some worry by giving the first answer, but in reality, you're not; it could be that after your test results you need treatment. If the people you were vague to find out they then may feel hurt and respond, "You said it was nothing to worry about". They will feel like you don't trust them.

Being as clear and honest as you can is always the best way forward. Also, never omit significant details. It is difficult to remember what you have said if you haven't told the whole story and again, people are likely to find out and feel hurt that you weren't honest with them.

5. Admit when you're keeping something back

Everyone is entitled to privacy, but to get people to believe in you, it's important to put down some clear boundaries about what you are not openly sharing. For instance, you could say "I do have things I feel and think about the divorce, but they aren't things I want to share just now, but you really don't have to worry." People will respect that.

6. Keep other people's secrets

If you are told something in confidence, don't break that trust unless it really is a matter of life and death, or at least serious harm. Only then do you divulge a secret, and then only to the people that you absolutely have to tell to prevent someone coming to harm. Never gossip.

7. Share your feelings

If people know you will open up about what you feel, they will know they can trust you to be open and honest with them. Also, if you only communicate facts and not feelings, you will appear cold and distant. People will find it difficult to trust you if you do that.

These are just some of the behaviours that should become a regular part of life for you if you want to know how to get people to believe in you.

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: communication skills blog